by Jennifer Coates
My faithful readership of romance novels has long been a bone of contention between myself and those who do not read them. "They're so unrealistic," people tell me, "Nothing in life ends up like that." I don't know if you have experienced this, but I have, on several occasions. I even had a woman lean over to me on the bus one day and say, "Aren't you embarrassed to read that stuff in public?" I remember looking at the woman and wondering if she was embarrassed to ask that question. I certainly wasn't embarrassed about what I was reading. I was actually more irritated at the interruption; I was at a good part. I remember looking up at the woman and preparing myself to lecture her on the virtues of romance novels. Instead, I ignored the small voice in my head, I instead told her politely that "No, I’m not embarrassed," and went back to my reading.
Now, that was ten years ago, and certainly not the way that I would handle the situation today. I don’t ignore my little voices anymore. Today, I would inform that woman, that romance novels, like any piece of fiction, have a very distinct place in our culture. Like most fiction, these novels are fictitious texts that document a universal emotional experience. The experience that they highlight is not the pain of living, but the pleasures of experiencing love. To call romance novels unrealistic or to assume that they are out of touch with reality is to say that the human experience of love is not a real experience. This is obviously not true. People fall in love everyday and in every corner of the world. Romance novels document this experience, just as many fiction novels document pain. We can not reserve accolades just for the novels about pain. There is also beauty in life. It is my opinion that romance novels do us a service by highlighting that which is beautiful and pleasurable in the world. They should not be excluded from consideration when it comes to quality fiction simply because they do not address that which is painful. Romance novels should be embraced as works of literature that reflect a human experience that we all aspire to: love.
As life would have it, I can never think of any of this when I am facing a non-believer. I usually get tongue tied and flustered when I try to explain to them the place of romance novels in literature. To avoid being flustered, I have decided to get prepared. I have decided to write it all down: “Why romance novels are just as rich a slice of reality, as any other work of fiction” by Jennifer Coates. I thought I'd share it with you, just in case you have an awkward moment on the bus. Read on and let me know if I missed anything.
The
Characters—Fact or Fantasy
A rich, black man who doesn't worry about money, has his own company, an inherited home, and is very close to his family.
A young educated African-American woman, bent on success. She has her own company, her own car, and doesn't quite relate to the Destiny's Child song chorus, "Can you pay my bills?"
An honest man without inherited wealth or even a lot of money in the bank, but he is employed, hard-working, and though scared, would love to fall in love.
These are profiles of characters that I have come to know over the ten plus years that I have been reading romance novels. Sometimes they are rich, sometimes they are poor, sometimes they are formally educated, and sometimes they aren't. They are unique people who have had unique journeys. Such characters are not far from reality. Romance novel characters are a lot like the make-up of a church's congregation or your own family. All of these people have had unique journeys in their lives that have shaped who they are. Despite these differences, they, like most human beings, have a desire to experience the emotion of love, respect, and appreciation. Romance novels bring this universal desire to the forefront by showing us that people with diverse interests and needs can find love. I am enchanted by the idea that “If it happened to a girl like her, it could happen to me.” Yes, it could. I am destined for love. It’s when the fates allow you to realize that destiny that is often the problem. I never seemed to fall in love when I want to, of course, I always wanted to, but that’s not the point. Searching for the right relationship, took several tries. I read general fiction to find characters that related to this Bridget Jonesesque experience. I read romance novels to read about the experience that I knew I would one day experience.
The
Relationships
In my discussions with non-believers I always try to note that romance novels don't typically feature just any relationship. Usually the novels focus on a relationship that is to end in a serious commitment (i.e. marriage). That said, the storyline of romance novels (boy meets girl, they fall in love, they encounter a hurdle, they scale the hurdle, the couple lives happily ever after) seems extremely appropriate.
I don’t know about you, but I think that a good relationship takes work. Unless you are very lucky and have found your other half, there are definitely some things about your significant other that you had to get used to. In a relationship (and I am generalizing so please feel free to correct me if I am wrong) it seems to me that people will generally try to work through the issues that threaten them. Okay. So maybe they won't figure that out right away. I'm stubborn. Sometimes it takes me a few hours, days, weeks to recognize an issue and work toward a solution, but to my credit, I do eventually get there. In real life, people argue with the ones that they love. In real life, people also work through their differences and are stronger together for it. This is a key contribution of the romance novel to literature. There are lessons to be learned in these books about what it takes to be loved and be given love in return. There are even examples, if you read closely enough, about what true happiness between a man and a woman can be, if they put their minds to it. Now don’t get me wrong. Happiness, in romance novels is not an ideal situation. Happiness comes with renewing their love and their relationship through discussion, disagreement, and understanding. This is my definition of happiness.
One thing that I love about romance novels is the fact that I know that after the book has ended, my very spirited heroine and very proud male will continue to grow and appreciate each other through their disagreements. I am confident by the end of the novel, that when the couple argues, their disagreements will not tear them apart, but make them and their love stronger. By doing this, they do live happily ever after. Maybe not in a no-arguing ever again bliss, but who would want that? A well-written romance novel, will always respect its characters enough to allow conflicts to erupt between the lovebirds. Sometimes, they argue over little things like personal space, and sometimes they argue over big things like honesty and respect. No matter what the argument, it is clear that the love that the couple has established between them is strong enough to withstand such an argument. In the end, I know that they will resolve their issues, and decide that their relationship is worth the effort of working through their individual and shared grievances. Romance novels proudly say that true love is worth it. Of course, it could be argued that one may not ever identify true love. I accept this, and since I don’t have a counter-argument for it I will leave it alone.
Proud
of What You Read
So what am I trying to say? I am trying to say that though romance novels are justly characterized as books that typically have a happy ending; they should not be discounted as relevant and pertinent pieces of literature that accurately reflect a slice of reality. They portray the wonder and the adventure of falling in love. We need to read about that just as much as we need to read about emotional turmoil and pain. I choose to prioritize that which makes me happy and feel good. I choose romance novels for all my reasons stated above, but mostly for this one: romance and love is an experience that I want to enjoy for the rest of my life. Perhaps that naïve, but until I learn differently I will continue to believe in the wonders of love.
I realize that you may not agree with my analysis or even my reasons for reading romance novels. That’s great. That means that romance novels capture and satisfy more aspects of the human experience than I recognize. Read them for your own reasons; ignore the lady on the bus. You’ve got something that makes you happy. Enjoy it, and please remember that it could happen to you, even if that lady on the bus tells you differently.
Jennifer Coates (email)